Chapter Two:

"Cassandra, please?!" exclaimed Vanessa the third and youngest sister in the Monroe family. Pale eyes flashed in her direction, followed by the inevitable bombardment of dirty socks.

"No." was the monotone reply.

"Please?" said the younger girl, undoing her long, strawberry blonde hair. "Listen, I can’t go if you don’t go, and Charlie’s dad won’t let him go unless this dude that works with him goes with us. There’s no way you can’t go!"

"I’m not going." said Cassandra. "There’s no way in the seven circles of hell that I’m going on a double date with your boyfriend’s father’s work-mate! He’s probably some bald, thirty-something year old with a whopping four inches in his pants – if that – wanting to get laid!"

"I’ve met him." said Vanessa, using her last resort. "He’s 22, and not bald. His hair is actually kinda long."

She was telling the truth, to a certain degree. She’d talked to Scott Calvin’s work-mate – or rather to Scott Calvin himself, about his work-mate – and seen a picture of him, so on some obscure level she had met him. Of course, that had been a few days ago, and the youngest Monroe sister had no idea that only three or so weeks before the young man in question had ruined and fixed Cassandra’s notebook. Vanessa, knowing full well that there was only one way to get her sister to concede, produced a Dunk ‘N’ Donuts bag from her backpack and placed it gingerly upon her sister’s vanity. Right next to the fan.

"I smell muffins." said Cassandra, walking dreamily out of her closet. "Mm…coffee cake; my favorite." She plopped herself down at the vanity and pulled the muffin from the bag, tossing the wax paper with the oh-so-familiar logo onto the floor. She was eating contentedly, while trying to no avail to apply some eyeliner.

"So, will you come?" asked Vanessa.

"Nope." Vanessa stamped her foot on the carpeted floor, then snatched what was left of the muffin from her sister. "GIVE IT BACK!" exclaimed Cassandra.

"Come with me!" was Vanessa’s response. The older of the two crossed her arms and glared at she-who-held-her-muffin. She wanted it back; right now. Finally, heaving a great sigh of compliance, she sat down again on her vanity bench and nodded, looking defeated. "Don’t look so sad, Cassy. I’ll buy you a cin-a-bun!" exclaimed the excited, and triumphed Vanessa.

Looking furious that her love of sweet, cinnamony things had been her downfall, she snatched what was left of the muffin and stuffed it into her mouth. A moment later she muttered:

"It better be a big one."

~ * ~

"Bernard, you’ve got to go." said Scott.

"Santa, I’m needed here!" exclaimed the Number One elf, looking awkward and annoyed. "I mean, it’ll be Christmas in little more than a month, and you’re having me take your son to a…what was it again?"

"Snow Ball." said Santa.

"A what?" demanded Bernard.

"A Snow Ball. Charlie’s school is throwing a kind of club-like fund-raiser. It’s to raise money for…something. His mom got him tickets as an early Christmas present. Four tickets to be exact. The problem is, Neil-the-helpful decided that Charlie was not going without supervision, and Vanessa – Charlie’s girlfriend – is bringing her older sister."

"So if Vanessa’s sister is going, why do I have to?"

"Because I trust you to keep those two in line." said Santa, smiling. A raised eyebrow from Bernard made the smile melt from Scott’s face, and forced him to add: "And because she’s made the naughty list three years in a row." Bernard sighed and agreed to go along for the ride, though he dearly wished he had more of a backbone and had just said no,

~ * ~

"You’re not wearing that." stated Vanessa. Cassandra looked down at her mini-skirt, high black boots, and black, velvet blouse thinking that she looked very nice. Apparently she was the only one.

"Bugger off. Those prats ‘ll be ‘ere any minute and I dunt ‘av anything else to wear." She said, switching to the British version of herself. It had become a sort of habit for the eldest of the Monroe sisters to speak in a British voice when she was irked, fed up, or vexed. No one knew how or why this habit came about, but it certainly made Cassandra’s moods easier to track.

"Wear something of mine then." Suggested Vanessa. Usually she knew better than to press her sister, particularly when she gained a British accent, but time was running out and she would not be seen in public with Cassandra dressed as a courtesan. The older of the sisters scrunched up her brow and placed her index finger to her chin, as if in deep thought. It was an exaggerated motion, the kind that actors use on stage to demonstrate consideration, but when Cassandra did it, it only meant one thing.

"No." she said, grinning. It was at this moment that Francesca, the middle sister, called for them to join her in the front hall.

"Cassy, Vanny, your dates are here!" she called. Cassandra narrowed her thickly-lined eyes and stalked toward the front hall, which now housed their ‘dates.’

"He is NOT my date!" she snapped, glowering at Francesca.

Bernard felt his stomach lurch when he realized who this ‘Cassy’ was, and he suddenly had the strong inclination to run. He just hoped she would not remember him and his oh-so-clumsy elbows.

"Hey, Cassandra." said Charlie. "You look nice."

"Stop sucking up, Charlie." said Cassandra, though she did it with a good-natured grin upon her face. She folded her arms, waiting to be introduced to her ‘date’ but no one seemed to know what to do. Without warning, Vanessa bounced into view and began introducing everyone.

"Cassy, you know Charlie—" she began.

"Yes, we’ve met. It’s been ages, darling. How long? Two, maybe three days?" Cassandra quipped. Vanessa ignored her sister’s comments and nudged Charlie to finish where she’d left off.

"This is Bernard…Elfman." said Charlie, smiling. Bernard made a mental note to damage the younger Calvin as soon as the girls were out of sight. Elfman? How very original.

"Charmed I’m sure." said Cassandra, rolling her eyes.

"Uh…Bernard, this is Cassandra Monroe." added Charlie, who seemed – if at all possible – more uncomfortable than he had been a moment ago.

"Well, that was riveting. Come, gentlemen and Van. I’m driving." announced the black-clad girl. Charlie, sensing that her proposal would not have a pleasant outcome, nudged Bernard who used some Elfin Magic to produce a surprise for the girls.

"Actually, you don’t have to drive." Said Bernard, gathering his courage. He clasped his hands together, hiding the faint glow his palms had adapted, and gestured for Charlie to open the door. The Calvin boy complied, and to everyone’s surprise a white, stretched limo sat parked in front of Monroe Manor.

"Oh wow!" exclaimed Vanessa, eyes wide with wonder. Cassandra tried not to show her surprise, but failed miserably.

"Impressive." She stated, trying to sound bored and uninterested. "Very unexpected." She slipped on a black, leather duster to keep out the cold and grabbed a purse from Francesca, who was smirking. Two of the three Monroe sisters headed toward the lovely car, leaving Bernard and Charlie to bring up the rear.

"So, whachya think?" asked Charlie.

"I think I need a new job." muttered Bernard, shaking his head.

~ * ~

"Santa, I’m not sure that sending Bernard was such a good idea." commented Curtis, looking slightly worried.

"Why’s that, Number Two?" asked Scott.

Curtis sighed and began explaining that the last time Bernard had been on anything resembling a date had been when men wore powdered wigs and women wore hoops in their skirts. Suddenly the child-like elf paused and peered in the direction of the Christmas Crystal. It was used to look in on anyone and everyone all over the world – a wedding gift to the new Mister and Misses Clause, from Father Time.

That was when it occurred to Curtis that Santa and Misses Clause were long due for a quiet night alone. The wheels in his head began turning and with a sort of abruptness Curtis announced that he’d changed his mind about the ordeal. Ten or twenty minutes later, Santa left his office, headed toward the East Wing, where Misses Clause had prepared a special private dinner.

"Never mind, Santa. This promises to be endlessly entertaining." Curtis muttered under his breath, dreaming of all the blackmail he would lay upon Bernard’s head once the Number One Elf got home. Endlessly entertaining indeed.

~ * ~

Cassandra adjusted the foam plugs in her ears, to keep out the loud, happy music, and tried vainly to concentrate on her book. It was no use. The music was too cheerful for her to enjoy the works of Edgar Allen Poe. She felt the eyes of her "date" upon her, and sighed. She was bored, and in the presence of the most awkward gentleman she’d ever met.

True, he was rather attractive with his curly mass of hair and endlessly brown eyes, but there was something about him that made her want to head for the hills – as it were. She couldn’t pinpoint it, but she knew it had something to do with the glimmer of silver on his cheeks and the rosy hue in his complexion. After all, what kind of boy wore body shimmer?

"Mind if I ditch for a minute? I got a tickle in my boot that needs talking to." she said. Bernard blinked at her, obviously not understanding what she’d said, making her smirk. "My cell’s on vibrate and is going off. I’ll be right back."

"Oh, okay." He said. She smiled, flipped her hair, and trotted off in the direction of the nearest exit.

"Vas is das?" she said into her phone. A giggle on the other end told her it was Frankie, calling to check up on her.

"How’s your date?" asked the girl.

"It’s no-ot a date. Charlie and Vanny are having a pleasant time, though I caught them swapping some spit in the hallway a few times. As for Barney and myself…he’s not much of a conversationalist." said Cassandra. Again, Francesca giggled.

"Oh well. At least you’re breaking in my new boots." She said. "Which – by the way – I want back as soon as you get home."

"You can have ‘em. They’re driving me crazy!" exclaimed Cassandra. "What possessed you to buy three inch heals?"

"You bought them for me last Christmas, dumb-ass." Cassandra, bored with the conversation with her sister, hung up and returned to the Snow Ball.

Meanwhile, Bernard was equally bored, and decided that a mental check-list of all the things he had to do before Christmas Eve was a more productive way to pass the time than brooding over being stuck with the title of chaperone. So engrossed in the doll-to-action figure ratio was he that he neglected to notice that Cassandra was back from her excursion, with a glint of mischief in her eye.

"I’m ‘onna request a song. I’m tired of pop-music." She stated. "Dance with me?"

That last statement got Bernard’s attention.

"Its not that I don’t want to, but…" He struggled for a way to reject the uppity young girl without hurting her feelings. "I’m not good with rhythm and movement at the same time." he finished. Cassandra showed no sign of being hurt by rejection, but in fact seemed slightly relieved.

"Okay then." She said, smiling. She was off again, this time making her way to the DJ’s turntables. A moment later a dark, evil-sounding song thudded from the enormous speakers.

We kiss
The stars
We write
We are
Your name
Desire
Your flesh
We are
Cold we’re so cold
We are
So cold we’re so cold
We are


Cassandra was now in the middle of a growing circle of gyrating bodies, moving her hips in a most suggestive manner. Every so often a boy would come up behind her, trying to grind his hips against hers, but the moment she realized that there had been an invasion of her personal space, she leaped away from the sweaty bodies and returned to her solo dance. For the first time that night, Bernard noticed that she was having a good time.

Her hair was wild and tangled, flying around her as if on fire, and her face was flushed with excitement. She had an insane grin on her face, as one who had nothing better to do but laugh, and with each pulse of a new verse, this exuberance only increased. Bernard smiled at her excitement and found himself reconsidering her offer to dance. Then he caught himself and rubbed his temples. ‘Must be the music.’ He thought; then after another moment he added: ‘But maybe this wasn’t such a waste of time.’

Hours later it was time to say goodnight. The Number One Elf and the eldest Monroe sister sat uncomfortably in the limo, waiting for Charlie and Vanessa to finish saying goodnight. Neither wanted to even fathom what the two were doing to show their affection for one another. Cassandra, not being able to sit still for longer than thirty seconds, began drumming her long, well-manicured fingernails against the tinted windows, while Bernard was back to his mental check-list.

‘We’re behind on our board games.’ He noted, making a silent note to relay this observation to the Gaming Department. Finally, impatient and exhausted, Cassandra hit one of the buttons on the control panel and the moon roof opened with a pleasant buzzing sound.

"Okay you two, I’m getting bored. Put your tongues back in your mouths and nobody gets hurt!" she announced. Bernard snorted, trying to smother a laugh. That was when he noticed that snow fell into the limo, from the moon roof. Cassandra lowered herself into a chair and wiped away a large, wet lump that had lodged itself in her hair.

"Snowball?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yup." She replied.

Bernard smiled and opened the car door, checking to make sure that the teens didn’t play the same trick on him they had on Cassandra. Charlie and Vanessa were simply sitting on the front porch, looking rather amused.

"Its safe." He announced.

"Perhaps…not for them!" she exclaimed. Cassandra leaped from the car, bidding the elf goodnight, and sprinted toward the couple with an armful of snow for each of them. Charlie climbed into the limo moments later, drenched with melting slush.

"That was your own fault, you know." commented Bernard.

"Shut up." said the son of Santa.


End of Chapter Two.


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